A Paternal Level of Zen to Which We Might Aspire

Or, "Songs I Never Hated, Volume II: Father's Day Edition."

When the sun comes up and you stare your cup of coffee, yup,

Right through the kitchen floor

And you feel like hell, so you might as well

Get out and sell your smart ass door-to-door.

And the missus wears her robe slightly undone

As your daughter dumps her oatmeal on your son

And you keep it hid

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did

So you go to work just to watch some jerk

pick the perks you were in line to get

And the guy who hired you just got fired

And your job’s expired, they just ain’t told you yet

So you go and buy a brand-new set of wheels

Just to show your family just how great you feel

Actin’ like a kid

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did

(Bridge)

And you’re a chip offa the old block

Why does it come as such a shock

That every road over which you walk

Your dad already did?

Yeah, you’ve seen the old man’s ghost

Come back as creamed, chipped beef on toast

Now if you don’t get your slice of the roast

You’re gonna flip your lid

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did

Well the day was long, now supper’s on

The trill is gone and something’s takin’ place

And the food is cold, the wife feels old

and all hands fold as the two-year-old says grace:

She says, “Help the starving children to get well

But let my brother’s hamster burn in hell!”

You love your wife and kids

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did

Just like your dad did