Listen to the children while they play

It's CD Mix Challenge 8! Enjoy...

1. Title track: Any song that is also the title of the album from whence it came, such as “Piano Man” from the album Piano Man.

"The Globe," Big Audio Dynamite II

2. I Command You A song title which is a command in the grammatical sense, such as “Don’t Stop” or “Please Please Me.”

"Skip a Rope"- Henson Cargill

I have intensely visceral memories of this song from childhood, not so much of the subject matter, but the actual 45s that my dad had, which included “In the year 2525” by Zager & Evans, and “Bottle of Wine” by Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs—right down to the little yellow spindle adapter thingies.

3. Human Anatomy 101 A song about a part of the body, whether it’s the eyes, the heart, or the toe. Any part of the body at all.

"Black Tongue," Yeah Yeah Yeahs

4. Song about waiting Self-explanatory, surely.

"I’ve Been Waiting," Matthew Sweet

Love the jangling, Byrds-esque guitar here.

5. Novelty song:

"eBay," Weird Al Yankovic

Growing up, we had a couple of K-Tel compilations (Goofy Greats et al.) on 8-track, which provided a steady diet of Ray Stevens and Nervous Norvis. I went a little more new-school this time, not least because I’m right out of 8-track players. BTW: the future copyright lawyer in me isn’t convinced this song qualifies as a parody under Campbell v. Acuff-Rose. Though, if pressed, I could come up with a decent rationale why it might be. I can promise you that, it's most certainly not a market substitute for the original. Then again, the future copyright lawyer in me should be thinking of a good rationale—fair use or otherwise—for these little enterprises.

6. Great song on a shit album Again, that’s obvious enough. A song you like from an album you don’t.

"The Way," Fastball (All the Pain Money Can Buy)

Not really a shit album, just one I never listened to except for this song. Then again, maybe this song isn’t really “great,” so it kind of evens out. From that post-vinyl/pre-iTunes no-man’s land we call the 90s

7. Song from 2008 Yes, it’s time for you people to get current again. Any song that was released this year.

"Antarctica," The Weepies

Pretty much the only music from 2008 that I have. Thanks to Stennie for turning me on to them.

8. Song about school:

"Playground," XTC

Reminds me of high school, as it should, and not in a good way. Especially “Some sweet girl playing my life runs off with a boy whose bike she’ll ride . . .” Seems like there was a preponderance of songs about British schools and how awful they are.

9. This & That A song with a title using the conjunction “and” . . .

"Bulldozers and Dirt," Drive-By Truckers

Sometimes the simplest, most elemental pleasures in life are the most sublimeI love the slow accretion of production elements, as if the song were an ever-enlarging sonic stalactite. It’s the lesser known inbred cousin of Phil Spector’s signature, The “Mound o’ Sound.” Also, the vocal harmonies call to mind a bunch of ‘coon hounds baying on a big-ass front porch of an old farmhouse

10. Dedication: dedicate a song on your mix to someone!

"The Look of Love," Dusty Springfield

Dusty’s voice like a satin teddy slipping off an alabaster shoulder, the strings unabashed in their urgent yearnings, and that sax. Good god, y’all. If there’s more artfully rendered ode to the physical act of love, I can’t begin to imagine what it would be, Mandrake. Dedicated, of course, to The Mother of The Man Cub (who must never be referred to as ‘Mrs. Middlebrow’). Track 16 is dedicated to the both of them.

11. Favorite song from the year you graduated high school.

"Never Say Never," Romeo Void

Wasn’t sure if this should this be favorite at the time, or favorite from that year now either way, it’s a bit of a cheat: the song came out in ’82, but I didn’t discover it until ’84 (in the movie Reckless) so I figured I could split the difference. This really captures the essence of what (I’d like to believe ) the early 80s were about musically.

12. Song you are most surprised to discover in your CD/MP3 collection. Alternate category name: “That’s not mine, officer.”

"More Than a Woman," Bee Gees

What surprised me was that I didn’t stop it or FF to the next thing. It was the Bee Gees—and I liked it! And why not, what with the Fender Rhodes tinkling like ice cubes in a tall glass of sweet tea. Very sweet tea. If I’m dedicating the mix to the MotMC, I might as well include a song that owes its presence in my iTunes to her: she or her mother bought the Bee Gees’ 2-CD best-of set and ripped it into my iTunes so they could each have a copy. So, really, this could have been any Bee Gees classic.

Had I chosen using Stennie’s criteria (musical kryptonite), you would all have been subjected to "The Wind Beneath My Wings," by Bette Midler (shudder), the mere thought of which makes me want to jam an icepick into each ear. It got into my iTunes because I was helping a former client, unschooled in the ways of the Interwebs, who wanted to make a mix CD for her daughter who was headed off to college. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. Reminds me of the guy in High Fidelity who came into the shop to buy “I Just Called to Say I Love You” for his daughter. “Oh, is she in a coma?”

13. Kick-ass cover The old favorite.

"We’re not the Jet Set," John Prine & Iris Dement

I know it’s fashionable on these things to pick a genre-bending or ultra ironic cover. This one kicks ass because it’s such a heartfelt homage to the George Jones / Tammy Wynette original. And if there’s a bigger Iris DeMent fan in the world than me, it’s probably John Prine.

14. Song with your name in the title You can use your middle name if you can’t find anything for your first name.

"Alles Roger!," Sportfreunde Stiller

Yes, I had to go buy it. I had really hoped to find a song that not only had my name, but used its verb form: to roger, a good rogering. Given how rusty my German is, they very well might have. Bonus/two-fer: they also refer to my middle name: Atomic Kitten

15. Smoking song—a song about smoking, what else?

"The Wildwood Weed," Jim Stafford

Thought I’d save you the trip to Branford, MO. “Y’all come back now, y’hear?”

16. Song about magic

"Three is a Magic Number," Schoolhouse Rock

A bit on the nose, but truly a great song. The compilation album should be called “That’s Edutainment!”

17. Next song Heidi should learn on the guitar (a.k.a. While Stennie’s guitar gently weeps)?

"O Marie," Daniel Lanois

This is assuming Stennie’s disdain for U2 doesn’t extend to their erstwhile producer. I’ll leave it up to her if she wants to learn it in French.

18. Introductory song: Song you would like to have played by Paul Schaeffer and the CBS Orchestra if you were a guest on Letterman.

"Are You Gonna Go My Way?," Lenny Kravitz

Damn, I knew I should have held on to “Play that Funky Music . . .” My variation on the question is, What do they play at the stadium while you’re walking to the plate: “Now batting, number 14, Misterrrr Middlebrrrrooooooowwwwww!” You just know Paul would arrange a smoking Hammond B3 part for himself, which would just make it all the sweeter.

19. Amnesia: a song about forgetting

"Don’t Forget About Me," Nanci Griffith

Stennie, if this song inexplicably makes your fillings hurt, it might be because one Larry Mullen, Jr. is playing drums. I’ll probably never put a U2 song on a mix, but they might invariably find a way via their cronies and compatriots.

20. Amnesty song As always, a song that you would have liked to use in this (or any other) mix, but couldn’t seem to find room for.

"Don’t Wait for Tom," Over The Rhine (imperative + waiting)

What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face?

My answers to the latest SLIFR pop-culture query: “PROF. BRIAN O'BLIVION'S ALL-NEW FLESH FOR MEMORIAL DAY FILM (AND TV) QUIZ.”

If you love movies and love talking about movies with people who love movies, and you haven't found Dennis' brilliant blog, you're missing out. Follow the link to take the quiz yourself and read other responses (after reading and commenting on mine, natch).

1) Best transition from movies to TV (actor, actress, producer/director, movie/show)
Alec Baldwin, on “30 Rock.” It’s like everything he’s done up to this point has been in service to this.

Runners-up: The troika of Edward James Olmos, Mary McDonnell, and James Callis, on “Battlestar Galactica.”

Martin Sheen was one of the great things about “The West Wing.”

2) Living film director you most miss seeing on the cultural landscape regularly
I would love to have seen more from Paul Brickman.

3) Eugene Pallette or Charles Coburn
Pallette purely on the strength of his addled patriarch in My Man Godfrey.

4) Fill in the blank: “I pray that no one ever turns _____________ into a movie.”
Any Geico TV commercial. Don’t scoff, it could happen.

5) Jane Greer or Veronica Lake
Lake. Better still: Kim Basinger playing a hooker “cut” to look like Veronica Lake in L.. A. Confidential.

6) What was the last movie you saw in a theater? On DVD? And why?
Theatre: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; how could I not? The first half hour was a pure delight—everybody was loose, having fun. Lots of great hot-rodder moments straight out of American Graffiti. The rest was pretty serviceable, but eventually it got kind of sloppy (who said “P-O’d” in the ‘50s?) and didn’t really hold up very well. I had to admit after a while that they either A) didn’t write Marion’s part very well, or B) Karen Allen isn’t much of an actress. By the end, I mostly wanted to see Shia LeBouef cast in something as Russell Crowe’s little brother.

DVD: Out of Sight; This is cinematic comfort food for me. Having just completed my second semester of law school, which included a course in criminal law, I’ve been jonesing to rewatch it with an eye toward all the possible instances of accomplice liability and applications of the felony-murder rule. It’s a testament to the movie’s greatness that I had stopped thinking about law school by the time it got to the first freeze-frame.

Tivo: Tristram Shandy, A Cock and Bull Story: For some unexplained reason, we’ve started getting IFC instead of TCM, and Tivo thought I would enjoy this. I did—especially the way it utterly disabuses the viewer of any thought about the “glamour” of being an actor. Makes kind of a good companion piece to Shakespeare in Love. I’d still rather have TCM, though.
7) Name an actor you think should be a star
Nathan Fillion. I’ve been unconsciously appreciative of him ever since he played the cad boyfriend in Blast from the Past; now, having thoroughly enjoyed his performance in Waitress and recently discovered “Firefly,” via Hulu.com, I consider him and grievously undervalued asset.

8) Foxy Brown or Coffy
Jackie Brown

9) Favorite TV show still without its own DVD box set
“The Six Million Dollar Man.” If the glimpses of similar childhood faves that I’ve gotten from Hulu are any indication (“Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea”) I’m probably much better off with my memories of the show as seen through the uncritical eyes of a ten-year-old.

10) Jack Elam or Neville Brand
Big Jack.

11) What movies would top your list of movies you need to revisit, for whatever reason?
Given the number of answers that I’ve had to pass on for this quiz, it seems like I have a lot of catching up to do before I do any “revisiting.” In another year or two, my son will be old enough to start watching movies, and that should make for some pretty interesting revisitations.

12) Zodiac or All the President’s Men
It’s been a million years since I saw the latter and I have yet to see the former, though given all the praise that’s been heaped on it, that should be rectified soon.

13) Using our best reviewer-speak, what is an “important” film comedy? And what is to you the most important film comedy of the last 35 years?
An “important” film, regardless of genre, is one that challenges the status quo. An “important” comedy would be one that has all the wit and intelligence of a respectable drama, but gets authentic laughs in unexpected ways. Even though it wasn’t a film, I thought this was what made “Arrested Development” so great (if fatally misunderstood and underappreciated). Generally, it seems the most “important” comedies are probably satire and/or black comedies, a la Dr. Strangelove, Three Kings. ‘Course, pretty much everything the Coens have done has defied conventions, proving (at least to me) that even a just-for-kicks comedy can earn a place in the canon. Even though it didn’t quite live up to the hype, I thought Borat went fearlessly where film hadn’t before, though I doubt you could have Borat without This is Spinal Tap. And Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind definitely felt like a paradigm shift to me.

All that said, I think it has to be Monty Python’s Life of Brian (See question 22, infra)

14) Describe the ideal environment for watching a movie.
Not to get too curmudgeony, but it’s really not fun to go to the movies nowadays. Between the general discourtesy that pervades and the fact that my home theatre 5.1 system is pound-for-pound as good or better than the average multiplex, the answer is: My sofa with my wife, some really great cheeses and pâtés, and a glass of Italian red (that, ironically, probably costs less than a coke at the theatre).

15) Michelle Williams or Eva Mendes
Anne Hathaway

16) What’s the worst movie title of all time?
C.H.U.D.

17) Best movie about teaching and/or learning
Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Talk about “everything I need to know I life I learned . . . “ Now that I think about it, this might be a contender for #13.

18) Dracula (1931) or Horror of Dracula (1958)
Pass

19) Why do you blog? Or if you don’t, why do you read blogs? (Thanks, Girish)
I like to think of my blog as a virtual water cooler, around which I and anyone who cares to join me can hold forth on whatever pop-culture ephemera seems noteworthy. I read blogs for mostly the same reasons, though many of my regular blogs have more of a political bent to them. I wish that I spent more time blogging and less time reading blogs, but I have reconciled myself to the reality that I’m a deficit blogger—I will always consume more than I produce.

20) Most memorable/disturbing death scene
Adam Goldberg being slowly stabbed in Saving Private Ryan.

21) Jason Robards or Robert Shaw
Robert Shaw. Robards is no slouch, but was he Quint and a Bond baddie? Didn’t think so. Oh, and Doyle Loneghan. And The Taking of Pelham 123. Yeah, Shaw was a total badass.

22) A good candidate for Most Blasphemous Movie Ever
If “blasphemy” is “an irreverent or impious act, attitude, or utterance in regard to something considered inviolable or sacrosanct,” then my answer is Pearl Harbor. Get thee behind me, Bruckheimer and Bay.

I find it curious how people answered with Monty Python’s Life of Brian. If you really watch it, there’s noting against God or Jesus or even any of Jesus’ teachings. It’s a 90-minute riff on that old bumper-sticker chestnut: Dear Lord, save me from your followers. I like to think that if God exists, and if we’re made in his/her/its image, then a sense of humor is essential to the creator’s divine nature. Jesus would totally get this movie. Seems to me, too, that JC, surveying the landscape of modern religion, politics and pop culture would have much greater quarrels with the self-anointed arbiters of holiness than mischief-makers and gadflies like the Pythons. I suspect God is far more indulgent of fools than hypocrites.

Now, if you want to talk about the most heretical movie ever, Life of Brian is surely a contender. And God bless ‘em for it.

23) Rio Bravo or Red River
Yikes. This might be in the running for #31 . . . I’ve seen snatches of both, but never really sat down and watched either.

24) Werner Herzog is remaking Bad Lieutenant with Nicolas Cage—that’s reality. Try to outdo reality by concocting a match-up of director and title for a really strange imaginary remake.
David Fincher’s Mary Poppins

25) Bulle Ogier or Charlotte Rampling
I have no idea who Bulle Ogier is, but it’s immaterial: it would pretty much be Charlotte Rampling, regardless.

26) In the Realm of the Senses— yes or no?
No strong opinion, so . . . sure, why not?

27) Name a movie you think of as your own (Thanks, Jim!)
Apparently, any movie from the ‘80s that begins with the letter R:

Risky Business came out the summer after I graduated high school and quickly established itself, at least to me, as something more than another teen-sex romp. It had some pretty keen insights into the priorities, anxieties and insecurities of 17-year-olds in the early ‘80s. It certainly struck a chord with me.

The Right Stuff was and remains a perfect synthesis of my boyhood passions—the space age and the movies. It eventually unseated Star Wars as my favorite movie (even though it took a few years for me to acknowledge as such). It also turned me on to the idea of film as literature, complete with themes, allusions, and tropes. “Hey, Ridley, you got any Beemans?”

Raising Arizona was my first date with my then hottie girlfriend (now hottie wife). It also introduced me to a whole new way of thinking about what movies, especially comedies, could be.

A Room with a View was something we saw for the first time while living in Italy. I was astonished that it was recently remade for PBS. What’s the point of remaking perfection?

28) Winged Migration or Microcosmos
Haven’t seen either. I have a feeling I’d be more of a Winged fan.

29) Your favorite football game featured in a movie
I’m tempted to say The Longest Yard (the original), and call it a day. I feel like I should throw Heaven Can Wait some love, even though the actual games are pretty tangential to the whole affair.

30) Wendy Hiller or Deborah Kerr
Kerr for Eternity.

31) Dirtiest secret you have that is related to the movies
Hanover Street and assorted crimes of omission too, too numerous and grievous to mention.

32) Name a favorite film and describe how it is illuminated and enriched by another favorite film.
Monster’s Inc.’s nod to Feed the Kitty. That’s not exactly the question, I know.

Equally lame but more to the point: High Anxiety (which I first saw as a young teen having only seen The Birds) became considerably funnier as I worked my way through the Hitchcock oeuvre. How about the way The Hudsucker Proxy riffs on Cool Hand Luke? “Lose a blue card, and they DOCK ya!”

33) It’s a Gift or Horsefeathers
Can’t say.

34) Your best story about seeing a movie at a drive-in
Best I can do is one of the typical “hide under a blanket in the back,” from the days before they charged by the carload.

35) Victor Mature or Tyrone Power
Man, I really need to get my TCM back.

36) What does film criticism mean to you? Where do you think it’s headed?
Right now, it doesn’t mean much. I’m pretty ambivalent about where it might be headed, though I’m thankful for the role that blogging generally, and Dennis’ blog especially, has played in letting regular Joe movie lovers participate in the conversation.

Brevity!

Snagged with a one-word answer meme. Perfect.

Yourself: Addled
Your Partner: Abiding
Your Hair: Unkempt
Your Mother: Neglected
Your Father: Atavistic
Your Favorite Item: Tivo
Your Dream Last Night: Feverish
Your Favorite Drink: Espresso
Your Dream Home: Lego-less
The Room You Are In: Fluorescent
Your Fear: Carnies
Where Do You Want to be in 10 years: Solvent
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: iTunes
What You Are Not: Chill
Muffins: Carrot
One of Your Wish Items: Time
Time: Up
Last Thing You Did: Lunch
What You Are Wearing: Codpiece
Your Favorite Weather: Tomorrow’s
Your Favorite Book: Bluebook
Last Thing You Ate: Sammich
Your Mood: Indigo
Your Best Friends: Virtual
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Pork
Your Car: Insatiable
Your Summer: Externiffic
What’s on your TV: Patina
What Is Your Weather Like: Carolinian
When Was the Last Time You Laughed: Sunday
What is your relationship status: Feisty

Next: Goldie, Monica, Bet

A Snag is as Good as a Goose to a Blind Moose

I was snagged with a (mercifully short and simple) meme. It goes a little something like this:

Look up page 123 in the nearest book.

Look for the fifth sentence.

Then post the three sentences that follow that fifth sentence on page 123.

At home there is, shall we say, a paucity of books with 123 pages and at least eight sentences per page. Fortunately, I always keep a copy of by “Antlers in the Trees,” the epic limerick by Hugh Goost Thamoos handy for just such an occasion:

“[The] Court appears to reason that the placement of local activity in a comprehensive scheme confirms that it is essential to that scheme.

If the Court is right, then Lopez stands for nothing more than a drafting guide: Congress should have described the relevant crime as “transfer or possession of a firearm anywhere in the nation” [or attached] the regulation of intrastate activity to a pre-existing comprehensive (or even not-so-comprehensive) scheme.

[If] the Court always defers to Congress as it does today, little may be left to the notion of enumerated powers.”

I am, as always, emotionally obliterated. You?

And now, because sauce for the moose is slaw for the gander, I nominate/incriminate the following gaggle:

Goldie, Tammara, Stennie, Ed, and Duke

Fish was my father's name. Please, call me Mr. Middlebrow.

So there’s this crazy-ass meme going around. My erstwhile blog pal and mentor Fish named me as a successor.

Pharyngula Mutating Genre Meme

There are a set of questions below that are all of the form, "The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…". Copy the questions, and before answering them, you may modify them in a limited way, carrying out no more than two of these operations:

— You can leave them exactly as is.

— You can delete any one question.

— You can mutate either the genre, medium, or subgenre of any one question. For instance, you could change "The best time travel novel in SF/Fantasy is…" to "The best time travel novel in Westerns is…", or "The best time travel movie in SF/Fantasy is…", or "The best romance novel in SF/Fantasy is…".

— You can add a completely new question of your choice to the end of the list, as long as it is still in the form "The best [subgenre] [medium] in [genre] is…".

You must have at least one question in your set, or you've gone extinct, and you must be able to answer it yourself, or you're not viable.

Then answer your possibly mutant set of questions. Please do include a link back to the blog you got them from, to simplify tracing the ancestry, and include these instructions.

Finally, pass it along to any number of your fellow bloggers. Remember, though, your success as a Darwinian replicator is going to be measured by the propagation of your variants, which is going to be a function of both the interest your well-honed questions generate and the number of successful attempts at reproducing them.

My great-great-great-great-grandparent is Flying Trilobite
My great-great-great-grandparent is A Blog Around the Clock.
My great-great-grandparent is Shakespeare's Sister.
My great-grandparent is Excuse This Mess...
My grandparent is Saying Yes.
My parent is Really Small Fish

My siblings are Scott and Plover.

1. The best drama in scientific dystopias is: Battlestar Galactica.

2. The best sexy song in rock is: “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC. A bit obvious, even by Beavis and Butt-Head standards, but still. Plus, it promotes good hygiene an/or proper operational, uh, maintenance: "She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean..."

First runner-up is “Sex Supreme” by Tenacious D (the slightly cleaned-up version they did on SNL was actually funnier than the uncensored one. Whoudathunk that “patch” could be funnier than “snatch”?)

3. The best cult movie in absurdist fiction is: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. “I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I deny them my essence.”

4. The best dead comedian in American comedy is Phil Hartman.
The closest I ever came to crying about the death of a celebrity. He was one of the greats. "My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me 'Vicki.'"

5. The best moment in live television was: Neil Armstrong stepping onto the surface of the moon or Christopher Walken catching a fever for which the only cure was more cowbell (tie).

6. The most erotic of all the salt-cured meats is pastrami.

Now it’s up to my progeny to go out there and make me proud:

Stennie, Irene Done, Tammara, Goldie, Shamus, Ed

Our Germans are better than their Germans.

I know this continues what might seem like a preponderance of surveys, quizzes and memes, or as I like to call them, Blogburger Helper^®. But this one is a bit different. Instead of getting tagged by another blogger and answering the same inane questions as the great, heaving masses of the blogosphere, you ask to be interviewed and they come up with five questions tailored especially to you. In other words, you bring it on yourself.

Tammara did it on her blog a few days, weeks, months ago recently and I was intrigued. I've been an increasingly avid reader of Something Mighty and Sublime for well over a year now, and I'm a devoted fan. And she’s been a reciprocal reader, commenter and linker—one of the original ADS Drinking Buddies—for almost as long. So it was a challenge, however tacit, I simply couldn't let go unanswered. Here, though, I have to offer an apology for taking so long to get this posted. I don’t know what the exact etiquette regarding these things is, but I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be answered during the same geological era in which they were asked.

It will come as no surprise to anyone who keeps up with SMAS, but be advised: when you tell Tammara to bring it, she brings it.

1. When you imagine the man-cub at 18, what do you see? What are his likes and dislikes?

There are lots of things I’m eager to share and do with him—riding roller coasters, watching and playing baseball, wrenching on old BMWs, as just a few examples. But I really look forward to watching and quoting movies with him. He already has a burgeoning aesthetic (“I don’ like dat song!”), a terrific sense of humor, and scary-amazing recall. Whenever we’re getting dressed to go out, I’ll say “Ready, Heddy?” in a not-so-subtle prompt for him to respond with “That’s Hedley…” This draws disapproving eye-rolls and admonitions from his mother, who really should just be thankful I’m not introducing him to the campfire scene. All in good time.

Without being one of those dads who needs to live vicariously through his son, I must cop to a not-so-secret hope that he appreciates mechanical things, words/language, music, history, and food. Though not necessarily at the same time. (The first time we get to screen The Right Stuff together, we'll be able to check off half the list in one three-hour fell swoop.)

His current expression du jour is “How dis work?” He always asks for stories about trains and cars. When I’m pushing him on the swings at the park, he’s constantly demanding to “go fast!” So I think he’s inherited the car-guy/flyboy gene. Honestly, whatever he’s into is fine, so long as his interest is genuine and passionate. I’m not saying he can’t be capricious; I just don’t want him to be a little trendoid. He’s got a really independent spirit now and I hope he never loses that.

His dislikes will be processed food, cheap laughs at the expense of others, and everybody who had anything to do with putting W in the White House. (Ideally, that last point will be expressed by quoting Mr. Hand from Fast Times at Ridgemont High: “What are you people, on dope?!”)

2. What popular movie of the last 5 years do you loathe so entirely that it makes you grind your teeth when you are reminded of it? (And sorry, btw, that I'm reminding you now.)

Actually, there are three.

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
I don’t even know where to begin with this one. There was so much praising with faint damnation about what an improvement it was over the preceding two. Which was really just a not-so-subtle way of lowering expectations to the point where all anybody cared about was going through the motions and seeing how the two trilogies connect. Just get on with it, already. I suppose it’s possible that Lucas could have been more perfunctory about it, (Bail Organa? Check. Blockade Runner? Check. Luke and Leia? Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru? Check, check and double-check.) but I can’t begin to imagine how. The upside is that it inspired one of my all-time favorite Anthony Lane quotes from one of his best reviews:

“The general opinion of Revenge of the Sith seems to be that it marks a distinct improvement on the last two episodes, The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. True, but only in the same way that dying from natural causes is preferable to crucifixion.”

Frankly, I shouldn't have been that surprised. People have been using computers to facilitate onanisitic pursuits for years. But leave it to George Lucas to define a new state of the art. A while back I read a comment on the IMDb about SW III:ROTS. Some breathless gushing about how “this really makes you want to immediately go and watch Episode IV…” Yeah, I thought. Kinda like when you take a swig of sour milk expecting fresh. Anything to purge this dreck from your mind and try to remember a time when Star Wars didn’t suck ginormous, asteroid-dwelling phallus-monsters.

Roger Dodger
This doesn’t properly count as popular, because it was limited to the art-house circuit where it promptly (and quite deservingly) tanked. Even so, it pissed me off. I’m a fan of Campbell Scott. And based on the fact that I share a name and an occupation with the title character, I was really looking forward to this movie. Maybe that was my problem—mismanaged expectations. But, man, what a fetid pile this movie was. About two minutes in, it went from cynical and misogynistic to outright, guns-blazing misanthropic and just never looked back. You know that bitter, burning sensation you get in the back of your throat when you almost throw up? It was like that—non-stop for 90-odd minutes.

Ocean’s 12
This felt like a betrayal by a good friend. Not just because Steven and George and the rest of the Hee-Haw gang basically phoned it in, but because they based the entire teeth-gnashing third act on the Achilles heel of the otherwise outstanding first film—Julia Roberts.

Fortunately, those guys have built up a deep well of good will over the years. I was reminded just how deep when I watched Out of Sight the other night. So, we’re cool. In fact, I’m counting on Ocean’s 13 for a bit of redemption. I know—fool me once, can’t get fooled again. But having read some interviews with Clooney where he as much as cops to them not bringing their A game—and acknowledging the need to get back into everyone’s favor—I’m willing to spot them the benefit of the doubt.

3. Do you imagine a rich and full early retirement like they show in investment company commercials, or do you imagine a career you will continue doing as long as they'll let you do it?

I’m going to go with the latter, with the proviso that if some windfall were to enable the former, I wouldn’t turn it down. I could make a very long and happy career out of my leisurely pursuits, which I'm sure would include still not blogging often enough.

I think I’m a like a lot of people of our generation. Unlike our parents, we expect some minimal level of personal satisfaction/fulfillment from a job beyond punching the clock and paying the bills. That said, it’s still pretty rare that someone lucks out and makes a really good living doing something they’d do for free. I like the work I do, but if I pick six lucky numbers this weekend, I’m not going to spend my days writing ad copy.

4. What in your secret heart of hearts do you most wish people to envy you for?

My first thought when I read that question was, “Nothing. Envy doesn’t interest me. Sure, there are things I’d like people to appreciate or admire...” But if I’ve learned nothing else reading SMAS, it’s not to confuse Tammara’s comfort with language for a casual approach to its usage.

So after much hand-wringing and soul searching, I’ve narrowed it down to either:

A) My impeccable table manners

or

B) My ability to belch the alphabet

5. When you see yourself on film (video), do you think, "Hey, yeah, not so bad," or do you think, "Crap, I've gotta do something about (fill in the blank)" ?

Depends. If the photo is from ten or even three years ago, it’s the former. More recently though, I start wondering how Brian Dennehy or William Shatner got in the shot.

All right, that’s our show. Thanks for tuning in. If you think you can handle five rounds of Middlebrow interrogation, leave a note in the comments.

Negotiations and Love Songs

One of my cyber pals, Stennie, who’s got her shit so together that she maintains not only a superfabulous regular, slice-of-life blog and an extra crispy one devoted entirely to movies, concocted this little CD Mix Challenge. Actually, this is the fourth of these she’s done, but the first I’ve noticed and participated in since I started reading her blogs with any regularity.

Unlike other pop-culture memes I’ve done (mostly Dennis’ movie quizzes), which involve answering questions with actual written words, Stennie’s takes a different tack. She challenges participants to respond in song. And while I like reading other people’s memes, this bumps the entertainment value of the experience up to a whole new level, ‘cause, you get a bunch of CDs—each chock full of an interesting assortment of new music—in the mail.

One more caveat before we get to the show. Due to the peripatetic nature of my life over the last two years, all but a handful of my CDs are packed up; only the essentials have found their way onto my iTunes. In fact, the majority of my library is stuff I’ve downloaded or come by through some other means. And a hella kids music (which is another post entirely) Still, I’m pleased with the final result, even if it’s not as eclectic as I would have liked.

CD Mix Challenge 4—The Revenge!

1. Song with a day of the week in the title.

“Sunday Morning” by No Doubt

I had a few other choices, but I like how the energy of this sets the tone.

2. A song you disliked as a youngster that you like now.

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC

To paraphrase Bono (sorry, Stennie): “Evangelicals stole rock & roll from my adolescence. Now I’m stealin’ it back.”

3. Sellout - song from a TV commercial.

“Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone

Even though “sellout” is probably intended as a pejorative, I picked one that, when used in a campaign for Sony Video a few years ago, actually reawakened my appreciation for the song such that I went and bought it off iTunes.

4. Kickass cover song.

“Kiss” by Tom Jones & Art of Noise (covering Prince)

To be properly kick-ass, a cover should somehow improve upon the original, right? No mean feat when we’re talking about Prince, but this gets it done. Not least because nobody steps up and owns a song like Tom Jones.

5. Musical question...

“Who is he and what is he to you?” by Bill Withers

Another great ‘70s AM radio staple. Not my favorite Bill Withers track, but it serves its purpose.

6. And answer!

“Steve McQueen” by Drive-By Truckers

Who is he? What is he to me? He’s the coolest goddam motherfucker on the silver screen! Bonus: it’s also a nice little shout-out to the movies, which seems only fitting considering how I found Stennie’s blogs.

7. Third person song

“Wedding Vows in Vegas” by Was (Not Was) featuring Frank Sinatra, Jr.

From one of my all-time top 10 favorite albums, What Up, Dog?

8. Uplugged - a favorite acoustic song.

“Rain” by Patty Griffin

Not sure if this was supposed to be an acoustic version of an originally electrified/amplified song (I got the impression that we were trying to avoid that) or something that has always been acoustic. In any case, this is what I call an NSFW song—because it’s rare that I can get all the way through it without welling up. Which also makes it NSFD (not safe for driving). A lot of the songs on Patty Griffin’s 1000 Kisses have that effect, but this one is just extra poignant for some reason. Maybe it’s my Oregonian roots.

9. A song about food.

“Jambalaya” by Hank Williams

One of the few songs about food on my iTunes that isn’t from the kids’ music file. Why is that? Why do we stop singing about food when we get all growed up?

10. Trains, Planes and Automobiles: song about a mode of transport.

“City of New Orleans” by Arlo Guthrie

This was hard because I could easily do (and have done) entire mixes around transportation (see #14). No idea why. It’s not like I set out to amass transportation-themed songs. The fact that it continues the geographic theme from the song that precedes it is a very happy accident. Also another indelible artifact of my ‘70s childhood soundtrack.

11. A song that cheers you up.

“Loves Me Like A Rock” by Paul Simon

Easily my favorite Paul Simon song (and that’s saying something). The visceral sense memory of it never fades, which makes it kind of the inverse of #2. I loved it as a kid; my appreciation for it has only deepened as I’ve gotten older. I also like that it’s from the same era as the previous track, so it’s possible that it might have been the day-brightening bit of sonic sorbet in real life that it is here.

12. Media - songs about radio, TV or other type of media (newspapers, magazines, whatever)

“Centerfold” by the J. Geils Band

And I thought coming up with a non-kids food song was hard. How is it that I have 427 songs about transportation but only one about media? (I have more, surely, if only I could get to the CDs.) Speaking of media, remember way back in olden days when MTV used play videos? This and a few other tracks come from that time I like to call the Golden Age of MTV (1981-84).

13. Add it up: Song with a number in the title...

“One” by Three Dog Night

14. Plus another song with a number in the title...

“Six Months in a Leaky Boat” by Split Enz

15. Equals third song with a number in the title.

“Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes

16. Banned! A song that is, or was in its day, controversial.

“Without Me” by Eminem

17. A song about a family member

“Oh Daddy” by Adrian Belew

This is an 11^th-hour sub, for sake of fitting everything onto a single CD. We’re all about value here at Middlebrow Industries, Inc. Or my name ain’t Nathan Arizona!

18. A favorite song that you have discovered since our last CD mix.

“Chariot” by Page France

I actually blogged about these guys (and a gal) recently. Nice to have a another chance to spread the word about them.

19. A song that reminds you of an old friend.

“Amanda” by Waylon Jennings

In this case “old friend” = My mom’s 1973 Mazda 808 station wagon. On nights when my dad was working graveyard at the mill, she bundled my brother and me into the backseat and the backidy-back at O-dark-thirty, tune the radio to Rockin’ Country KPOK or 62 KGW, and deliver The Oregonian to homes in the hinterlands of Clackamas County.


20. Amnesty song As with the last mix—a song you wanted to include in this or any past mix that you didn’t find room for.

“The Mayor of Simpleton” by XTC

This was a contender for #11. It’s not only one of my all-time favorite songs, but quite possibly the perfect pop song. It’s a nice little call-back to Sam Cooke’s “What a wonderful world,” but with so much winking self awareness that it ought to be subtitled “I was meta when meta wasn’t cool.”

It’s a fair cop.

Fish tagged me. Or, more precisely, fouled off a pitch he’d already been thrown and showed yours truly one of the perils of box seats behind the dugout. His heart was in the right place, though.

So. Five Things About Me You May Not Already Know (and Have Never Before Revealed on This Blog).

1. My first live “rock” concert was Styx at Veteran’s Auditorium in Des Moines, IA. I think it was the Paradise Theater tour. “Tonight’s the night we’ll make hiiiissssstoreeeeeee…”

2. I have congenitally crooked pinkies. (Imagine a little finger that’s a little too needy-clingy with a ring finger.) The left more than the right. The person in my family who had them before me was my maternal great-grandmother. But I passed them to my son. Go figure. So far, this genetic mutation has yet to translate into anything resembling a super power. Although it’s good for one-fifth of a blog post, and that ain’t nothin’!

3. I was an Armed Forces Radio DJ. Yes, like “Good Morning Vietnam” only 15 years later and about 85% less funny. I must've done something right, though; I managed to woo my wife, who applied for a work-study job at the station so she could stalk me. So far, it’s worked out pretty well. I have to say that being a military broadcaster is (or was) about the least military job you could do and be in uniform. What attracted me to the Army life, you ask? The thought of moving around only once every year or three was somehow strangely appealing. Maybe it was because...

4. I went to five high schools in four years. One in Oregon; four in Iowa. Go Millers! Rail-splitters! Indians! Cardinals! Tigers! My sophomore year, I was the new kid three different times. Which blew every bit as much as you can imagine. But wait, there’s more: I also went to five middle schools in two years. The fact that not one had the Nomads as their mascot is, I think, a sign that the universe has no sense of irony. It just enjoys fucking with me.

5. I’m pretty handy in the kitchen.* When we lived in Seattle, I came up with a recipe for salmon with blackberry sauce that got me into the finals of in the first Sunset Salmon Cook-off. The magazine flew five finalists and their guests to Palo Alto for a weekend of food, drink and conviviality that remains a gustatory high-water mark for me. Still, I can’t believe I came in second behind a guy from Phoenix. The shame! The ignominy! Don't get me wrong. It was a really good dish, but still. Phoenix!

*Actually, ADS regulars and pork-loving googlers know this, but I thought some elaborating evidence might be nice. If you ask nicely (maybe in the comments section [nudge, wink]), I’ll consider sharing the recipe.

As I understanding these things, this being my first tagging and all, I'm supposed to spread the love to five other unsuspecting fellow-rubesbloggers. So I nominate:

Ed, who despite being an old friend and a founding inspiration for A Drinking Song, is always good for something unexpected.

Tammara, who's probably weary of these things and will be hard pressed to come up five things she hasn't already blogged about with great eloquence and wit.

That Little Round-Headed Boy, the hardest-working, most underrated arbiter of the zeitgeist.

Irene Done, about whom I know only that we share the same job title and the same shameless zeal for Battlestar Galactica.

Mr. Seed, who seems to be having a little trouble getting out of the gate.

And, as a special holiday bonus, I'd love to know more about Aunty Christ, the second coming of one of my all-time faves.

Well, duh.

Your Movie Buff Quotient: 92%
You are a movie buff of the most obsessive variety. If a movie exists, chances are that you've seen it. You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film.

Are You a Movie Buff?

Ok, so not exactly setting the world on fire in terms of original-content creation, but it's something, right?

To quote Bill Murray as the titular Bob: "Baby steps."

For what it's worth, I am not the all-but-indiscriminate celluloid whore this would make me out to be. I have seen a lot of movies, and I have a borderline-freakish level of recall for quotes and other details. But I also have standards.

Prof. Van Helsing's Spring-Break Quiz: Special Expanded Collector's Edition

Program note: I've finally added my long-overdue, verging-on-irrelevance reply to our survey of overlooked and underrated movies in the comments section of that post. Look for a full digest, complete with insightful analysis and pithy commentary, in a day or two (which, in ADS-speak, might be a week or two).

I’ve been debating about whether publish my response to Dennis Cozzalio's latest movie-lover's quiz as a blog post. I did the last one, but I had just started the blog and was desperate for content.

Actually, not much has changed.

On the one hand, I’m starting to worry that the content is getting too film-heavy, (or at least to list-heavy) at the expense of other things I’d like to blog about. And, yes, I’ll totally cop to the assertion that lists and quizzes and memes are the blog equivalent of Jiffy corn muffin mix—instant content that’s almost as good as written-from-scratch.

The thing about Dennis’ quizzes, though, is that they’re skillfully constructed to tease out a respondent’s personality. So, in a way, someone reading my quiz answers is likely to get as much insight into my loveable middlebrowness as they could ever want. To borrow (and slightly alter) a line from High Fidelity: What you like speaks volumes about what you’re like. Combine that with the fact that Dennis has gotten so many more responses to this quiz than earlier ones—meaning the likelihood of my comments showing up in the digest drops off precipitously—and it’s really all the rationalization I need.

Given that I’ve had a month or so to mull over some of these questions, this includes not only the answers I posted to Dennis’ site, but a few of the minor epiphanies I’ve had since. They'll be marked with a ** just in case the brilliance of the answer doesn't clue you in.

So, wooden stakes and/or #2 pencils at the ready. You may fire when ready:

1) What film made you angry, either while watching it or in thinking about it afterward?

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

George Lucas finally plumbs the greatest possible depths of soulless, emotionally sterile, misanthropic, anything-Ewan-can-do-CGI-can-do-better “filmmaking.” If there’s ever been a more criminal squandering of acting talent and epic mythology, I haven’t seen it.

Even now, thinking about it makes me angry. Very, very ANGRY! [/Marvin the Martian]

The thing that’s so galling is how, if you watch The Empire Strikes Back and parts of Return of the Jedi, you see glimpses of what might have been, had Lucas not been sucked into the quagmire of his own hubris. Take his characters and his broad-strokes vision and let real artists—or at least craftsmen—take over filling in the details that give it life and authenticity. Hire someone like Lawrence Kasdan to transform Georgie’s bloated prose into actual dialogue. And let someone with real people skills direct; hell, a trained gibbon (or even Bret Ratner) could probably get better performances out of actors than Lucas did.

2) Favorite sidekick

The Sundance Kid (See question 16)
Jack Ridley (Levon Helm) in The Right Stuff (See question 12)
Buddy (Ving Rhames) in Out of Sight (see question 13)

**I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before:

Marty Feldman as Igor (“Actually, it’s proununced ‘EYE-gor.’”) in Young Frankenstein. Duh.

“Eye-gor!”

“Froederick!”

***

“Could be worse.”

“How?”

“Could be raining.” [thunder, torrential downpour]

3) One of your favorite movie lines

I’m trying really, really hard not to come up with one of the usual suspects (“I’m shocked, SHOCKED…”)

“Ooh, Rhapsody has two mommies” from Best in Show.
Has the added benefit of being improvised.

**

“It is fate, Vicar. But call it Italy if it pleases you.”
A Room with a View.

“If Jesus came back today and saw all the things being done in His name, He’d never stop throwing up”
Hanna and Her Sisters

“I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I deny them my essence.”
Dr. Strangelove

“What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face?!”
Monty Python's Life of Brian

“Look at the size of that boy's head. It's like an orange on a toothpick. A virtual planetoid. Has its own weather system. I'm not kiddin', his head's like Sputnik: spherical, but quite pointy in parts. HEAD! PAPER! NOW! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can, haulin' that gagantuan cranium about. Oh, that was offsides, wasn't it. He's gonna cry himself to sleep on his huge pillow.”
So I Married an Axe Murderer

4) William Holden or Burt Lancaster?

William Holden, mostly for The Bridge on the River Kwai. Yes, I’m biased. Let he who’s without sin cast the first stone. Heh.

**TCM aired a bunch of war flicks over memorial day weekend, including From Here to Eternity (which I’ve seen) and The Bridges at Toko-Ri (which I’ve never seen and I taped). So I got a little bit of an A/B comparison between the two. Eternity is a way better film, but I’m sticking with Holden.

5) Describe a perfect moment in a movie

I know it’s a little cliché, but the Houston hoedown/fan-dance scene from The Right Stuff really ties up all the themes of that film in a way that I consider perfect. (In the interests of full disclosure, I should point out that is my favorite movie of all time, bar none.)

What makes it so special is the cross-cutting that depicts the fundamental core of the story: The celebration of Mercury Seven’s not-quite-earned fame contrasted with stoic, faceless obscurity of Chuck Yeager actually putting his anonymous hide on the line in yet another limelight-free test flight. Even as Cooper tries to wax philosophic and give Yeager his props, when he’s lobbed the custom-made softball: “Who was the best pilot you ever saw?”, he has no choice, no control over the trajectory his life has taken. He has to fall back on his aw-shucks, rat-racer schtick: “You’re lookin’ at him.”

6) Favorite John Ford movie

The Quiet Man (It’s the only John Wayne movie my wife will deign to watch. We’re all about the compromises over here at Casa Middlebrow.)

7) The inverse of a question from the last quiz: What film artist (director, actor, screenwriter, whatever) has the least–deserved good reputation, artistically speaking. And who would you replace him/her with on that pedestal?

Julia Roberts. I’m convinced she gives off some pheromone that makes directors and critics, to say nothing of Joe Sixpack, see her in this hallowed light. But I just don’t get it. I guess I have some kind of Juliammunity. I don’t think she’s a bad actress, per se, and she’s not unattractive. I just don’t consider her the ne plus ultra of leading ladies.

The hard part of this question is offering a superior substitute. Sandra Bullock? I know she’s kind of on everybody’s (at least everybody taking this quiz) shit list, on account of Crash, but I’m almost always enamored of her performances, particularly in comedic roles. Bridget Fonda, maybe? Or, how about Janine Garafolo? She probably couldn’t have pulled off Pretty Woman, but would a world without that movie really be so bad? I think a Janine Garafolo Erin Brockovich would have been really interesting. ‘Course, I don’t begrudge Julia EB; I just wish Soderberg hadn’t been so smitten with her that he miscast her in—and tainted—an otherwise outstanding Ocean’s 11.

8) Barbara Stanwyck or Ida Lupino?

Stanwyck. I know there’s something I should appreciate about Lupino, but color me ignorant. Plus, Barbara Stanwyck was so, so bad—in the best possible way—in Double Indemnity. The original femme fatale. (Probably not, but she made a hell of an impression on me.)

9) Showgirls--yes or no?

I don’t know why, but every time I read this question, the following exchange from Monty Python’s “Bookshop Sketch” comes to mind:

“Do you have ‘A Sale of Two Titties’?”

“Definitely NOT.”

So, I’m gonna go with that: No.

10) Most exotic or otherwise unusual place in which you ever saw a movie

The best I can come up with is Platoon, dubbed in Italian, in a theatre in Vicenza, Italy, where I was an Armed Forces Radio DJ. That said, reruns of the original Star Trek in Italian were far more entertaining:

Spock: Interessante, Capitano.

Bones: E mordo, Geem!

I mean, to think that Spock, the universe’s most emotion-less being, is supposed to be using the most passionate and emotive form of spoken communication ever invented—it’s a conundrum of Escher-esque proportions. And don’t even get me started on how Scotty is supposed to do Italian with a Scott’s burr. They made it work though.

11) Favorite Robert Altman movie

Gosford Park. I really liked Short Cuts, too, although that film confirms my thought from the previous quiz: Andie MacDowell is poison to any movie. Great director? Awesome script? Fabulous co-stars? Doesn’t matter. The minute she opens her mouth, the spell is broken. It’s especially bad when you can’t even hold your own in a scene opposite Lyle Lovett.

12) Best argument for allowing rock stars to participate in the making of movies

My first thought was Sting. Playing opposite Meryl Streep in Plenty gives him enough big-screen cred to balance out the stunt-casting roles (Dune, The Bride).

But I’d be remiss in my duty if I didn’t call attention to Levon Helm’s outstanding (and very un-rock-star) turns in Coal Miner’s Daughter and, especially, The Right Stuff.

With Sting, you always know you’re watching a rock star; watching Jack Ridley crack wise with Chuck Yeager at Pancho's, it never even enters your mind that this is the voice of rock standards like “The Weight” and “The Night They Drove Ol’ Dixie Down.”

**Of course, I have to give a shout-out to my man David Byrne for True Stories.

I’m not sure if John Cougar Mellencamp’s Falling From Grace is a point for or against, but I like that film if for no other reason than, by including John Prine’s “All the Best,” it introduced me to one of the national treasures of American singer-songwriters.

13) Describe a transcendent moment in a film (a moment when you realized a film that just seemed routine or merely interesting before had become something much more)

When Jack Foley (George Clooney) comes out of an office building and jerks his tie off and throws it to the ground, in Out of Sight, I knew this wasn’t just another by-the-numbers Elmore Leonard adaptation. During the scene, there’s a lens flare, and a this cool, funky, Lalo Schifrin-esque track comes up under the action, all of which is punctuated with a freeze frame so perfectly retro it could have come from the opening credits of a 1970s private-eye drama.

There are many more transcendent moments that add up to a film that’s so much more than I ever expected from the one sheet or the previews. Which says as much about the casting as the writing or the direction; every character that’s introduced is just pitch-perfect. All the proof you’ll ever need to support the old saw about how there are no small parts, only small actors. The chemistry between the leads is crackling. And the whole thing is peppered with just the right amount of cinematic seasoning—a jump cut here, a blue filter there, and lots of non-linear narrative—to remind you that there’s a movie lover making a movie for movie lovers. The more I watch it, the more satisfying it becomes. It’s always my first recommendation when the conversation turns to movies that surprise you with how unexpectedly good they are.

(For those of you scoring along at home, this is the very spot on which I started formulating my underrated movies survey.)

14) Gina Gershon or Jennifer Tilly?

Gina Gershon. But only in an anybody-but-Jennifer-Tilly sort of way. I can’t actually think of a single film I’ve seen Gina Gershon in. My favorite Jennifer Tilley performance is in Monsters, Inc. So what does that say?

15) Favorite Frank Capra movie

Since the question is ‘favorite,’ I have to say It’s a Wonderful Life. It Happened One Night is artistically superior, but I truly never tire of the former. Meaning no matter how many times I watch it, it just owns me. Especially now that I have a young ‘n. I basically can’t even think the words “Zu-zu’s petals” without tearing up.

16) The scene you most wish you could have witnessed being filmed.

This might sound like a cop-out (and it might very well be) because I simply can’t think of one. But, while I’ve never been on a movie set, I have worked on enough commercial and music video productions to know the excruciating ratio of shooting time to screen time, not to mention the pervasive drudgery of setting up and waiting. And waiting. And really, what I like most about watching movies is that suspension of disbelief, letting the wonder play out. I love the magic; I don’t really want to know how the trick is done. So I’m going to choose blissful ignorance. Or, as Iris Dement sings/says, “Let the mystery be.”

All that to one side, I’d love to have hung around during any scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. This is why I love commentary tracks and “making of” documentaries. Because you get to see how a scene came together, without it being spoiled in the context of the finished film.

17) Robert Ryan or Richard Widmark?

It may be because my intro to Widmark came in Coma, but I’ve just never liked him. He’s always seemed really creepy and unpleasant somehow. That said, I couldn’t name a single Robert Ryan picture without consulting IMDb. Having done that (and having the requisite “Oh, that guy!” moment), I’ll definitely go with Ryan.

18) Name a movie that inspired you to walk out before it was finished

Highlander II: The Quickening; Wild Wild West (Barry Sonnenfeld, what were you thinking? And even more vexing: how did you get Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branaugh to participate in such a fetid dung heap of a movie? My guess is something involving compromising photos with farm animals. Shame on you all.)

19) Favorite political movie

Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

"Why can't women go to the stoning, Mum?"
"Because it's written, that's why!"

20) Your favorite movie poster/one-sheet, or the one you’d most like to own

Star Wars (pretty obvious, right?)

Mother, Jugs and Speed

The latter because I was a Bill Cosby fan. And I—or at least the 11-year-old projectionist version of me—really dug the art direction.

21) Jeff Bridges or Jeff Goldblum?

Even though Goldblum should be a shoe-in for his participation in The Right Stuff, I’ve gotta give Bridges the nod for breadth and variety.

22) Favorite Ken Russell movie

Lair of the White Worm. Amanda Donohoe topless in tighty-whities. Need I say more?

23) Accepting the conventional wisdom that 1970-1975 marked a golden age of American filmmaking in which artistic ambition and popular acceptance were not mutually exclusive, what for you was this golden age’s high point? (Could be a movie, a trend, the emergence of a star, whatever)

Al Pacino and Dustin Hoffman both peaked during that period—or were still on the ascent, anyway. Hoffman became, I think, the more rounded, versatile character actor, whereas Pacino sort of turned everything into an Al Pacino role. Not necessarily bad, but not as actor-ly, in my opinion. Each has had his share of missteps and I’ll always maintain—Best Actor Oscar be damned—that Pacino was miscast in Scent of a Woman. But whatever. If you eliminated either of their bodies of work from ’70 to ’75 (or ’69, so you could include Midnight Cowboy), the film world would become a pretty bleak and desolate place.

24) Grace Kelly or Ava Gardner?

Ava Gardner. She’s from North Carolina (my adopted home). And she was good enough for Frank, that’s good enough for me.

25) With total disregard for whether it would ever actually be considered, even in this age of movie recycling, what film exists that you feel might actually warrant a sequel, or would produce a sequel you’d actually be interested in seeing?

Well, just to tie the whole thing up in a nice little bow, I’ll refer back to question one and say remake the Star Wars prequels done properly with a director (or directors) who can balance epic storytelling without 3-D character development and genuine intimacy. Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino, and Steven Soderberg, maybe?

UP NEXT:
My long-overdue, verging-on-irrelevance reply to my own survey of overlooked and underrated movies. DON'T MISS IT!