Trouble is, I spent too much time kissing frogs, then even more time savoring the very occasional prince. (Wow, not sure how I painted myself into such a gay [not that there's anything wrong with that] corner there, metaphorically speaking.) Seriously, though, I'm up to, like, twenty-some bookmarked blogs, about eight of which I visit regularly. And each of them has anywhere from four to fifteen links to equally worthwhile blogs. Combine all that with a tendency toward fevered overthinking and overanalysis, and, big surprise: I'm doing precious little actual blogging of my own.
What's worse, I seem to be falling into precisely the pattern I was hoping to avoid:
- Hand-wringing post about what to post and feeling all angsty and self-aware.
- Overlong, overwrought, self-indulgent observational post about movies or fatherhood or barbecue. (One of which is fermenting on my hard drive even now. I mean it's gonna be a doozy. Stand back, Eve, I don't know how big this thing gets.)
- More meta handwringing.
- More overdone blogwanking
- Repeat ad infinitum.
Well, fuck.
No wonder the TWoP message boards had such a strident prohibition against talking "about the boards on the boards." Because it's boring. It's tedious. And it's not really content.
That said, this is my blog and I'll cry if want to. God knows I need a place for some occasional meta handwringing and unfettered brain dumping. I just want it to be worthwhile. Because that's the common tread, really, among all these sites that I keep revisiting. At least the ones I've linked in the sidebar. They're vastly different, but each is an interesting and unique insight into that blogger's world.
And not to go all Five People You Meet in Heaven on you, but this seems (so far, at least) to be a way of connecting with people that I otherwise never would have. It certainly outstrips any expectations I ever had for Al Gore's brainchild.
So summing up: I get my interests and point of view validated by finding like-minded/consciousness-expanding folk in blogsville, but the flipside is I also am forced to confront (and hopefully deal with) some of my baggage.
I guess I can live with that. And now, on with the countdown.
4 comments:
And then there's the inevitable pause when you think, Who's reading this thing? Is it even worth it? What a waste of time....
Mr U:
You have no idea how close I came to being one of those 'tards.
ixtab:
Yes! Just last night, in fact. But now you kind of thrown down the guantlet, huh? So I have my answer: It is worth it, by gum! Do it for the children! Clap your hands! I do believe in fairies!
So yeah, I'm beginning to regret not being more careful and having wished for people to actually read my blog.
The most important this is that you just write, whether you do it badly (as in my case) or if you are a black belt (as in the case of you and the other 4 people that you’ll meet in heaven listed in your links list).
Seeing as we are not the only beings that use tools or communicate, we are as far as we know it the only things on the planet at the moment capable of the written word.
As sentient beings we are have unique things to say for we have all seen this world and the universe from a different perspective. So to all of you I say, JUST PUNCH THE KEYS MAN!
By doing so we exercise our abilities as communicators while exorcising the demons in our souls. So whether you think you are a shitty writer (I refer to myself here), are wasting time, or are writing about other people’s writing, by God just do it.
God knows that there are too many kids in third-world countries that will never be able to write because they will never receive an education and are relegated to the picking night-blooming jasmine for shitty perfume that will be sold at Walgreens or sewing soccer balls together.
Writing, be it for an audience or for self-edification is not a bad thing.
I am just grateful that you even read my blog and allow me to be in the company of other great writers such as yourself.
Ed:
Despite the dearth of evidence here so far, I like to think of myself as a decent writer; far from great, but determined not to be satisfied with good. The trick is to keep at it. So I do appreciate the kind words and the encouragement.
The idea that keeps coming to mind is that most basic of infantry tactics: Shoot and move. Every post doesn't have to be a magnum freaking opus, right? Just bust some caps downrange and get on with it.
So that's what I'm gonna try. Just get the muscles working.
Also, this:
God knows that there are too many kids in third-world countries that will never be able to write because they will never receive an education and are relegated to the picking night-blooming jasmine for shitty perfume that will be sold at Walgreens or sewing soccer balls together.
is a pretty compelling argument against your claim to being a shitty writer. It's the literary equivalent of "eat your vegetables because there are children starving in India." Which is what makes it such a sharp insight, aptly put.
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